5 Tips To Changing Impulsive Behaviors
There are a variety of problematic and impulsive behaviors that exist: 1) explosive anger or rage, 2) binging and purging, 3) excessive drinking, smoking or using drugs, 4) gambling, 5) workaholism, 6) self-harming or violent gestures, 7) reckless sexual escapades, and 8) infidelity…just to name a few. These behaviors may have become so automatic or habitual, you have little insight or awareness about the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, triggers and vulnerabilities that are involved in your impulsive or problematic behavior.
In my years of clinical practice, a common theme mentioned by my clients is feeling disconnected from themselves both leading up to the impulsive behavior and especially when they are at the peak of emotional intensity; the insight and regret only kicks in after the damage has already been done. The tools in this post will not only help you gain better insight about your problematic behavior, but also help you replace old behaviors with skills and effective behaviors that leave you feeling empowered and satisfied.
1. Identify Your Behavior and Triggers- Start by identifying the behavior or urge that you would like to address. Next brainstorm triggers that lead you to the behavior. Triggers may include: people, places, situations, smells, events and times just to name a few. Take some time to journal and list your major triggers that prompt you to eventually act impulsively.
2. Reduce Your Vulnerabilities- Although there are various types of vulnerabilities that lay the groundwork for problematic behaviors, the basic vulnerability factors are being (H)ungry, (A)ngry, (L)onely, or (T)ired. A helpful anachronism is HALT (a.k.a. STOP). You can be used it to remind you to address these issues by taking proactive steps towards decreasing or eliminating these vulnerability factors.
3. List The Consequences Of The Problem Behavior- Next list both the positive consequences that reinforce the behavior and the negative consequences of the problematic behavior.
4. Skills Used and Required- Journal the skills you have already used and the additional skills that would be important for you to develop to help you utilize alternative strategies to the problematic behavior. Some skills include: mindfulness, emotion regulation skills, distress tolerance skills, thought regulation, interpersonal effectiveness skills, relaxation techniques, self-esteem development, assertiveness skills, etc.
5. Behavior Analysis In Chronological Order- This is the last and most important step. It is recommended you give yourself 20-30 minutes to do this exercise so you can really become conscientiously aware of all the details involved in your behavioral cycle.
To begin choose a specific and recent example in which the problematic behavior occurred. On a piece of paper write the problematic behavior at the top of the page and then draw a line vertically down the middle of the page.
On the left side of the page you will write write down in chronological order every (T)hought, (F)eeling, (E)vent, (BS) Body Sensations and (B)ehaviors leading up to the problematic behavior, during the problematic behavior and post-behavior. You want this play-by-play to be as detailed as possible so you truly get a full snapshot of all the internal and external aspects that are involved in your impulsive behavior.
After you have completed the actual chain of events on the left hand side of the page, you will then write on the right hand side alternative thoughts, skills, tools, coping mechanisms, and effective behaviors you could incorporate the next time some of these similar thoughts, feelings, body sensations, behaviors and events occur.
For example, if you tend to have problems with anger your behavior analysis may look something like this…
(E) I woke up late Practice Time Management Skills
(B) I was rushing Take time to relax and meditate 5 min.
(BS) My heart was racing Breathing exercise
(BS) Shortness of breath
(T) “I am so irresponsible” “I am learning & will plan better.”
(E) mad, irritable, anxious Image a happy or calm place in my mind
(B) don’t eat breakfast and leave Prepare a healthy snack the night before
(BS) tension in my shoulders
(E) stuck in traffic
(BS) tight fists Progressive muscle relaxation
(T) “People are so rude” State the facts to become objective
(E) rage, anger Opposite emotion exercise
(B) Yell explosively as someone Journal about what is upsetting me
(continue…)
If you found these suggestions helpful please comment below and share with fellow bloggers how these steps improved your outcome. Or if you know of someone who would also benefit from reading this post please share this blog with them. For more information on how to learn skills, you can join our upcoming Skills Training Group, by contacting True Potential Counseling.
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Nice blog post. The triggers and vulnerabilities items are very helpful. I really like the behavioral analysis. I am going to look into that further. If you have any information that would help with bipolar impulsiveness, I would be interested.
Thank you so much for your comment. I am glad you found my post useful and that it can lead to a more balanced and conscious way of responding to triggers and vulnerabilities. Stay tuned for future episodes and I will gladly speak about tips about reducing ups and downs and impulsivity. Andrea
Thank you for the steps. I am working on my recovery. I was seeing a counselor & practicing EMDR. I found it be very rewarding. I have had to stop for financial reasons. Seeing your blog is a great reminder. I have bookmarked it to review daily.
Thank you Leah for your comment and stopping by. Welcome to my blog community. Look forward to future comments from you about how it helps you. Best, Andrea