6 Tips To Effective Decision Making
Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life where you feel overwhelmed and confused about which direction to take, don’t know what to do next or are filled with uncertainty about which path will take you to where you want to go?
If you are like many other men and women who are struggling with indecision, you may find yourself ruminating back and forth between various options. You may feel internal or external pressure to make “the right decision” which causes you to delay the decision, make an impulsive one, or avoid the decision all together. You may feel stuck in a vicious and unproductive cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.
When we are feeling anxious we become more indecisive and doubt ourselves more, consequentially, when we second guess ourselves and put off decisions we become more anxious…and so the cycle goes round and round endlessly. Until we start breaking the cycle, by managing our anxiety effectively, trusting ourselves and helpful allies, and taking action, we will be lost in the internal labyrinth of our mind. You can get out of the maze by following this helpful plan to gain clarity, self-confidence and begin taking calculated risks.
1. Create A Pro And Con List– On a piece of paper draw a vertical line down the middle of the page and a horizontal line across the middle of the page, thus creating 4 separate boxes. In the top left hand box you will write Pros and in the top right hand box you will write Cons. You will do the same for the boxes below.
Next you will write a list of the pros and cons for one option and the pros and cons for the alternative option. For example, if you are considering quitting your job, you would write a list of the pros and cons for staying in the job and the pros and cons to quitting the job. Or if you are considering starting a romantic relationship, you would write a list of the pros and cons to committing to the relationship and the pros and cons to being single. This will allow you to get a clear and rational picture rather than an emotional and one.
2. Connect with Your Inner Wisdom- Each of us has an emotional aspect that chooses pleasure over pain and avoids hassles and discomfort. We tend to unconsciously prioritize short-term rewards rather than long-term objectives requiring effort. Despite our conscious desire and best intentions of striving for what we want to accomplish we sabotage ourselves. Because our rational state of mind is linear, ridged, organized and structured we can use our logic to benefit us or to beat ourselves up. To get out of this emotional and mental roller-coaster ride, we can shift into a wise state of mind by answering reasonable questions, challenging distorted thinking patterns, regulating our emotions, or connecting with our body sensations and intuition. Some common questions we can ask ourselves is: What can I do now? What can I learn from this? What do you gain from delaying taking action now? What do you gain by following through now? This allows us to become wise about what to do rather than overly critical or emotional.
3. Develop Skills: Sometimes we may need to learn skills to keep us in the present moment or skills to manage our emotions effectively. Other times we may need to develop the skills to regulate our thoughts, tolerate distress or be effective in our interpersonal relationships in a conscious manner. If we tend to be more emotional we need to incorporate skills more rational in nature and vice versa. Since some of these skills were not learned in childhood or we have forgotten to use them consciously in our day to day life, integrating of these skills into our automatic responses can alleviate a lot of stress and help us to cope with the challenges we face.
4. Identify the Internal and External Trigger that make you Feel Overwhelmed: Each of us have our personal triggers that cause us distress or upset. An important step to effectively manage triggers it to become aware of what bothers you. Next you can do a behavioral chain analysis that can assist you in incorporating alternative behaviors or skills that help you get through the challenges and stressors that life inevitably has to offer.
5. Rejecting the Need for Certainty- When you believe that every decision has a “right answer” then every small decision can lead to over-analysis and thus paralysis. If you remind yourself that you cannot have certainty and that you don’t need it, you can begin to harness your intuition and develop self-confidence and inner trust by making choices despite not knowing the precise outcome.
Remember there are many roads leading to Rome and that every problem has a variety of answers. Sometimes the best choice is choosing the best option available at the time and moving forward knowing that you can handle and face whatever lies ahead of you. Otherwise delaying the process may cause you unnecessary stress and rumination and cause you to waste time and energy. Although we may believe that not making a decision may protect us, it can also end up hurting us and result in negative consequences.
6. Be Satisfied with your Decision– When making decisions, individuals are either “maximizers” or “satisficers.” “Maximizers” consider every possible option, and “satisficers” look until they find an option that is good enough.
When we are “maximizers” we look at the array of possibilities that lie before us and we focus on all the missed opportunities we are saying no to instead of focusing on the one choice we are saying yes to. By doing we brainstorm a variety of options but also fixate more on what was given up than what was gained. When we are “satisfiers” we lower our expectations and narrow our focus on which options are good enough. As a result “satisfiers” are more settled and happier individuals.
Often times considering every option is almost never necessary, and should be reserved for the most important life decisions. Instead of maximizing options, we can maximize our happiness by proactively choosing the option that is good enough and being satisfied with the best choices available at the time.
For more information on how to effectively make decisions or feel internal peace with the challenges that lie ahead of you one-on-one attention can benefit you and alleviate your distress. You can get additional guidance and assistance by contacting True Potential Counseling today. If you found this article helpful please forward this blog post onto your friends, family and loved ones.
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